CHAOSPHERE – 1998

1. CONCATENATION

A stale organic cage
Incarceration
I’m in the stranger: Me
The user of my face
Beneath its guise I rot
A paradox in terms
Interconnected, fused
My words are its thoughts
I now share my self with my reflection
Straining to divide our twined formation
Duality within singularity

Coalescence done, the merging complete
The sentence carried out
The confluence, our interwound flows
Surges not to be fused
In this mental cage we absorb our selves
The only certainty is my suffering
My mind in constant pleas
For an end to this concatenation
A struggle all in vain, we’re both the same

Plug me in, reconnect me to my self
Plug me in, reconnect me to my soul

Gone are all my hopes, all my vain illusions
Deceived I dwell in me. In the core of my agony
I fade in this duress. I’m weakening
The one who claimed my front
Is now the claimant of my soul

Into the core of self, the neuro-axis
I fade within the fading core of self I am…
Gone-bound, lost, away, phased out, non-existing

2. NEW MILLENNIUM CYANIDE CHRIST

I’m a carnal, organic anagram
Human flesh instead of written letters
I rearrange my pathetic tissue. I incise
I replace. I’m reformed
I eradicate the fake pre-present me
Elevate me to a higher human form
The characters I am, made into a word complete
Then I’ll be the new norm
Self inflicted fractures
I replace my bones with bars
Aluminum bleeding oxide
The drug of gods into my pounding veins

My receiving eyes exchanged with fuses
Blindness induced to prevent destruction
Ceramic blades implanted past my ribs
To save me from the dues of inhalation
I tear my worldly useless skin
Staples to pin it over my ears
Non-receptive of ungodly sounds
I disable the audio-generators of fear

Hexagonol bolts to fill my mouth
Sharpened to deplete the creator of all violence
Without speech their will be no deceit

Baptized in vitriolic acid. A final touch
A smoothing of features
Completion of the greatest art
To cast the godly creatures
Humans, once astray. Made divine
Stripped of congenital flaws
We’re incandescent revelations
In a world of darkened forms

Disciples, come join with me to save a failed humanity
Follow the god of cyanide into the new eternity
Behold: A sacrificial rase a cleansing worshipping of pain
The new millennium christ here to redeem all from lies

3. CORRIDOR OF CHAMELEONS

We’re the carriers of a new anomaly
Fold, unfold. Bend, shift color
Always turning our backs to the wind
Deaf to the inner voices screaming
Purpose, profit, act only to gain
Blistered tounges from licking greedward
Taste the enemy. Throw up their means
Swallow the bits that fits your needs

Keep your eyes searching in all directions
Scanning for opportunities
Off you go. Begin your climb
Aim for the topmost twig of lies

Put on a shape to pass undisturbed
Pick a color to blend with surroundings
Choose a voice suiting
Appropriate for the never benignant purpose
Spin your eyes to read the court
Smoothen your path before the start
Even out, fill the holes
With the toxic clay of your rotting heart

A contagious neuro-ego-disease
A virus sticking to liars
We’re the self-centered fuel
To boost the new strain of fire
Adapting, shifting, lacking opinion
Our numbers exceeding the billions
Everly walking among ourselves
Down the corridor of chameleons

Continue through the skein of boughs
Navigate to keep you straight on track
Make the right ramification-turns
Conceit will be your allied guide
Climb the hierarchy ladders invisibly
Veiled by the canvas of putrid dreams
Every obstacle surmountable
To the clouded vision you’ve conceived

Scan the wall of truth for cracks
Your prey: The secrets hiding therein
Feed upon its nourishing intestines
To bring you forth in the ‘game’
With every single step taken
On the road of games called success
There’s a fee for every lie
The currency: Your dissolving integrity
Will you make it to the top of the tree?
Is the fortune there to be found?
Chameleons are a short-lived breed
Maybe fate will find you dead on the ground

4. NEUROTICA

Subdued and repressed
A son of the vortex in faceless progress
Coaxing, tugging, grinding
So elevated, so God
Refit this vessel of confusion
To bring the eloquence of the mute
Incorporate this forfeit cause
Assimilate and fake it mine
I bow my head and taste the lies that I’m fed
All to claim my reward
Master and servant
One for all and all for none
Ignorant to the distant hymns of chaos
The progressive stand before me
Their eyes fixed in the distance
Default to conform to the new

They animate me
In confidence I thrive
My reign: supremacy
I speak no word unheard
Re-motivate me
I’m all there is to be
An omnipotent being so complete in my diversity

Ripples race across my eyes
Breaking out in acid sweat
Wills shrivel and crack
Disintegration of my inner self
I find the substance lost
A shed shell of a being of disgust
Done is the cleansing
Complete is the surgery of the soul

Step inside and taste the shackling thoughts
That devour all confidence
Realising I’m lost
Being no more than a mutt with a fake pedigree
Stillborn soul shaped and molded
I can live an eternity in a minute’s time
A borrowed talent filled with copied goals
The carcass of hope lies dead
Beneath the fabric of dreams
Facing the truth within the mirror of souls
Ha ha this is what I’ve become
Always been in this emancipated state
Battered and numb
Just a mindscape fit for illusion
To make fear into reign and fulfillment of pain
Kneeling in permanent solitude
The minions of the inside claim me

Re-animate me, cause I was once alive
Defeat smears out my focus
Consciousness subsides
Unmotivated. Beheld by scorching eyes
Infinity stares back at me
The surging darkness coils to strike

5. THE MOUTH LICKING WHAT YOU’VE BLED

I’m the shallow, the superficial
I’m the common man
Faithless, narrow minded, indifferent, impassive
A sycophantic leech. Tantamount to disintegrity
I’m the vulture feeding on malignancy

I’m the sin
The lecherous sneering at prostration
I wallow in disease
I rejoice at degradation
I yawn at misery
Spit at others happiness
An advocate of manipulation
I embrace the sickening

I’m the lost. I’m average. I’m common
I’m infection. I’m human. I’m common
A worm thriving in seas of disgust. I’m common
The mouth licking what you’ve bled. I’m common

I’m the pampered degenerate
I indulge my inclinations
The only words to my attention
Are those that I myself creat
Disorder. Chaos

I debar all order, repudiate all purity
Infatuated by contentment
I laugh at lies
Come behold the sickness in my common human eyes

I’m the greed, the cynic
I’m the indifferent gaze
Mendacity, betrayal
This is not a phase
Ebullient with human filth
Here I am. Here I stay
Flourishing in our disgrace
Blessed be the human way

6. SANE
Come and hear my twisted lies
The way I bend and falsify
A master of deception
User of an untrue smile
A rapist of the truth
Adapting it to fit my cause
I’m the human lie
A sad composition of all things vile

Come and read my tainted lies. Lies
Come see my wretched, tainted mind

Bury, cover up, repress
I betray the people I ‘possess’
What ever enemy
I’ll disable with mendacity
I make my way, extend my ground
I clear my future-path
When it comes to joys
Manipulation is my game of choice

How I shine. I …
The perfect freak. Confide in me
Me… Believe in me

My intentions soon you will see
The sway of my scheme, imposed upon all
Come follow me, my puppets to be
I’ll attach my strings, manipulation begins

Sane me
I’m the way, I’m the truth
Gather with me, I’m the future guide

Sane me

Gather with me
Join my ministry
I’m the way, the future guide
I’m the self-acclaimed god of wicked games
Sinister, repugnant bringer of pain

7. THE EXQUISITE MACHINERY OF TORTURE

A sustained static gaze
Oblivious to surroundings
Empty, strained, unmoving eyes
Introverted, paralyzed
A burning mass of emotions denied
Enraged by years of silencing
An accumulation of feelings suppressed
Returning to devour

Bright rays of chaos, generated by subconsciousness
A retribution by own thoughts twisting the mind into fits
Fuelled with pains unveiled. Burning with contamination
Set afire by disowned self-lies – they penetrate the eyes

I… Am I the next. Self inflicted overload
Thoughts returning to think me away
I… Will I be reprieved,
Or am I just awaiting the sentence of my exquisite
Internal machinery of torture

The turmoil arises, from the innermost core of denial
Shining streams of putrefaction, reflugent with disease
In outward motion to redress the balance by retaliation
A terminal journey to relieve cognition of ability
Minds lit like candles, by rejected senses and emotions
Tearing flames, born in mind; Creations of self deception
Strained, not to lose the grip
Humans locked in the new disease
A light by eyes unseen has come to burn us clean

I… Am I the next
Self inflicted overload
Thoughts returning to think me away
I… Will I be reprieved,
Or am I just awaiting the sentence
Of my exquisite internal machinery

I sense the bodily facilities
Discorporated by the light
All my pleas: denied
By my psychogenical enemy
The inner other me

I’m dead. My shape slowly dissolving
Shadows no longer cast
From this lifeless form that I’ve become

Corporeality fails the grip
Substance now decreasing
Amorphous. Without shape
I’m vanishing. Dematerialized
My own corrosive thoughts
Probes armed with acid tools
Disintegrated, I’m bleached out of reality
Scattered bits internally
My last transparent remains
Floating inanimate objects spinning into my soul
Defeated by my contents
Tables turned, I’m a thought repressed
I’m swallowed into myself
Destination: nothingness

8. ELASTIC

Assembled from dead incompatible pieces
Livid fragments regenerated
Decomposing bits of organic matter
Brought to life, revived
A liquid, limbless, sickening shape
A faltering semi-floating cluster
Its sole purpose of creation
To burst the imagination blood-surge

Defying the mould of human flesh
Smashing the wall of beliefs
A sight to bring insanity to all dimensional reality

Carved from thoughts unthought
Into a graphic, visible delusion of life
A twisted display of dehumanized features
By cells reflected, refracted
A frantic dancing of particles
In pathetic attempt at rendering flesh
Swirling to project the illusion
Of shape, dimension and mass

A walking translucent entity
Void, suspended
Inviolate by all rules
All standards of existence
An electrified vapor-cloud
A skein of bone and tissue
An atrocity, a liquid form
Unshaped to the organic norm

A mind not filled with thoughts
But a random flickering static
A soulless creature un-alive
I’m the un-human elastic